When I started that Blog, the only thing on my mind was to share my thoughts with the internet. How selsfless.. or was it? Now, I think deep down, another reason why I started that Blog, was to connect with people, to explore who I really am through writing my thoughts down, and therefore be able to find likeminded people. I was at a place in my life where I wasnt really happy with who I was and somehow I thought blogging would change that.
What a rediculous thought looking back at it. But let me tell you, I started to fall in love with the proccess of blogging. What may have started out as a way to connect with people or show my “work” started to turn into something I really enjoyed. So why then did I stop?
The more people started reading my blog, the more feedback I received. Logical conclusion. The feedback was never negative, mostly positive and to some extent constructive. I would say the kind of feedback doesn’t even play a roll in that story. The mere fact that there was feedback got the ball rolling.
Which ball? For sure not a football lol. (Nothing against footballs) All of a sudden there were people on the other hand of that Blog reading that shit I’m somehow putting together every Sunday. For every Bloger a dream. For me more of a surprise that caught me off guard. All of a sudden the Blog wasnt just about me anymore. It was about me and the people who read it.
So I think I faced what a lot of writers face at some point. I wrote for me but in thought of everyone who might be reading that blog post later on. Those thoughts would have been perfectly fine in the economy, where everything is customer oriented, but was cryptonid for my blog. All Ideas I had, everything I thought would be great to write about, first went through a process in my mind. A process of thinking about every person who might read my blog-post after I hit that upload button.
“Can I write about this…? Is that to effensive…? Might that hurt or upset somebody…? Might that drive a wedge between me and someone else…?”
There I was. Scared of writing my thoughts, the one thing that this Blog should have been about. Trying to make it right for everyone… and that pattern didnt just manifest in my blog. I started to see similar habits in my privat life. Something had to change. Not just something, that one thing needed to change.
And here I am now. Sitting in a Starbucks drinking a cool lime refresher writing my first Blog-Post in 2023.
So what now? Should I just dont give a fuck about anything and just do as I feel? I’d say that would be a bit extreme. As with everything I think there is a balance that has to be held. Were not alone on that planet, so just not giving a fuck about everything and live like there is no tomorrow might not be the best idea.
Not caring or not giving a fuck about everything is simply not the solution. But we can choose what we give a fuck about and what we don’t. And there are things that are better to give fucks about and things that are worse to care to much for. Right now I’m in the process of figure out what the things are I should give a fuck about and the things I shouldn’t give a fuck about.
What might those things be? You may want to figure that out for yourself. I cant give you the answer but let me tell you, that you probably will fuck up a lot of times till you figure it out. These, in the final analysis, is perfectly fine, cause as far as I can tell is that the only way we really progress and learn. Through failure and fuck ups.
Whit that I hope you have a great weekend and thank you for taking the time to read my blog.
Till next time 🙂
DM.